Had to add this here so it doesn't get lost. :)

Miss Lauren, I have struggled in vain, and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Tokyo with the object of writing a great novel. I had to write a great novel. I have fought against my lack of motivation, my lack of inspiration, the inferiority of my words in comparison to so many other authors, all these things, and I am now putting them aside and asking you to end my agony. I love competing with you. Most ardently. Please do me the honor of engaging with me in a transcontinental writing contest.